Sometimes the problem is you

Psychologists say we tend to exaggerate how good we are, how nice or how beautiful we are. Exaggerating your good behavior sometimes affects how you scrutinize and truly see yourself.

Sometimes you are the toxic person in your relationship.
Sometimes you are the mean one,the negative one.
Sometimes the problem is you.
Sometimes we blame others for our own shame, run away and avoid taking responsibility.
Sometimes we play the victim, even though we are the offender.
Sometimes we try to justify our actions.
Sometimes you are the cause of your own problems
And that makes you human.

We all fall short one way or the other,
Check yourself, keep on checking yourself, own and learn from your mistakes.

When i was in college, i knew i wasn’t very emotional but i did not know how cold i could sometimes be. I was sometimes mean to friends and siblings without realizing it. Recently i read an argument i had with my friend years ago via Facebook messenger and it made me cringe. She was trying to be nice and i was mean.I understood better why we were no longer friends and saw how i also contributed to us falling out.I had to send a message apologizing to her and we laughed about it.

Alhamdulillah for growth.
Do better
Be better
Continue to strive

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FORGIVE THYSELF

To err is human to forgive is divine!

As far as you are human you are bound to err, isn’t that why Allah is the Ghaffur, Roheem (the most forgiving, the most merciful)

What sin have you committed that eats you raw!

What guilt eats deep!

You kill yourself of guilt, languish in depression and live life in despondency of Allah’s mercy.

How easy it is to continue to wallow in self blame and self pity

It takes a lot of courage to forgive yourself and move on. Pick up the courage today!

You did the best you could at the time. Acknowledge your mistakes to your self and forgive thyself.

Give yourself the permission to be free of guilt.

Give yourself the freedom to start again.

When you forgive yourself and love yourself sincerely, you can begin to really heal deep down and move on.

Mumtaz 😊

DIY: ALOE ROSE HAIR MIST

Benefits: Moisturise the hair and scalp, softens hair while strengthening it due to the vitamin E and Aloe Vera juice. Condition and shine the hair.

Things you need:

Spray bottle

2/3 part Aloe Vera Juice

1/3 part Rosewater

Few drops of Vitamin E

1 tbs Avocado oil
Pour aloe Vera juice, in the spray bottle, add rose water and shake.
Add vitamin E and Avocado Oil
Shake well.

Voila your moisturizing hair mist is ready. You can apply it directly after washing your hair as leave-in-spray and use daily

Natural remedies for hair growth.

Apple Cider Vinegar:
Why?
The vinegar gently cleanses the scalp and maintains the PH balance of the hair accelerating hair growth.
How To Use:
Wash your hair
Use apple cider vinegar as a final rinse after washing your hair to get healthy and shiny hair.
For 1 liter of solution – mix 75ml of apple cider vinegar to one liter of water
You may store this entirely or make it smaller batches.
For smaller quantities, take 15 ml of apple cider vinegar and add it to a cup of warm filtered water
After washing your hair, using this cup of water as the final rinse.

Egg Mask: This home remedy is found to be a part of the many cultures all over the world with different variations.
Why?
It contains high levels of proteins which help in the formation of new hair. It is also rich in sulphur, zinc, iron, selenium, phosphorous and iodine.
How To Use:
Take the white of one egg
Add 1 teaspoon of olive oil and honey to it
Mix it all well to form a smooth paste
Apply it all over your hair carefully and leave it for 20 minutes
Rinse with cool water and shampoo it off.
Not just for hair, you can use egg masks to get glowing skin too

Fenugreek:
This is another widely used home remedy for treating hair fall.
Why?
Fenugreek accelerates hair growth and protects the natural colour of your hair.
How To Use:
Take 1 teaspoon of the fenugreek paste
Add 2 teaspoons of coconut milk to it
Apply it all over your hair and scalp
Leave it on for 30 minutes
Wash off with a mild shampoo

Potato Juice:
This is a secret home remedy. Most people are not familiar with the hair growth properties of potato juice.
Why?
Potato is rich in Vitamin A, B, and C. These are essential for healthy hair. This can be used even if you are suffering from alopecia i.e. thinning of hair.
How To Use:
Place potato in an extractor for juicing
Apply the potato juice on the scalp
Leave it on for 15 minutes
Wash off using mild shampoo
Potato is good for use as face packs too.

Henna Pack:
Henna is very well known as a natural conditioner. It is also good for hair growth.
Why?
It transforms dull and dry hair to smooth and shiny hair and adds colour too. It promotes hair growth by strengthening the roots of your hair.
How To Use:
Make a pack by mixing 1 cup of dry henna powder with ½ cup of yoghurt
Apply it all over your hair from root to tip.
Leave the pack until it dries off completely
Wash off with a mild shampoo

The Secret Ingredients To Being a Successful Muslimah

Success is something I have been thinking about a great deal lately. One of the first questions that come to mind is how we define success? One of the inner-most desires we can have as human beings is to be successful at something. Whether it’s our role as a student or in our profession or even as a mother.
As Muslims, we can all too often get dragged into this type of worldly measure of success which measures you by material achievements- but in all honesty, how many of those people chasing after solely worldly goods are truly happy? I’m not suggesting we shouldn’t have all the above as Muslims. Indeed we should, but our measure of success should be linked to something lasting, more rewarding, more satisfying than reaching the status quo.
Successful indeed are the believers (Surah Al-Muminun)
1. Have sincere intentions:
Success begins on the sincerity of our intentions. We should seek to have a lasting benefit from whatever we have set our minds to achieve, whether it is studying at university, getting a career or starting a family. Our success in what we intend to do will depend on how sincere we are in our efforts to please Allah.
2. Invest time wisely:
One of the top traits of successful leaders as research as shown is that they manage their time effectively. Quit wasting time on things that do not bring you benefit and watch your life become full of blessings.
3 Develop yourself:
We have access to knowledge, courses, books and so much more, so anyone can develop their knowledge and grow in an area of interest. As Muslims, it is essential we improve our knowledge of the religion and excel at what we do so that we can be an example and role model.
4. Keep learning:
One of the striking features I have found in successful people is their humility and their continued pursuit of learning, not only in the field they are currently in but also in general.
5. Make du’a:
The final but one of the most powerful ingredients to success is to make dua and lots of it. Indeed my success only comes from Allah is a beautiful dua to ponder over often as it reminds me that we can never become too arrogant in life about our achievements. If it wasn’t for our creator, we would not be able to exist in the first place let alone succeed at what we set out to do.
Remember to always remain humble in your achievements and constantly thank Allah for helping you.
After all, we won’t know if we’ve really succeeded until we reach the gates of Jannah. May Allah (SWT) make us amongst those who are the successful in this life and the hereafter.

Culled from Sisters Magazine issue 53.

DIY : SHEA AND COCOA HAIR BUTTER

Benefits: Shea and cocoa hair butter can be used as a hair cream, conditioner and used on the skin. Shea butter’s concentration of natural vitamins and fatty acids in Shea butter makes it incredibly nourishing and moisturizing, contains oleic, stearic, palmitic and linolenic acids. Cocoa butter contains nutrients including protein, potassium, calcium, vitamins, magnesium and copper. It is a good hair moisturizer; it is very effective against dry, itchy scalp. Lavender, peppermint and rosemary oils stimulate the scalp, aids hair growth, strengthens and reduces hair loss. Great for treating itchy painful scalp, dandruff and receding hair line.

img_0935Ingredients:
Shea Butter 200g
Cocoa Butter 100g
Avocado Oil 60ml
Hempseed Oil 60ml
Coconut Oil 60ml
Few drops of : Peppermint Essential Oil
Lavender Essential Oil
Rosemary Essential Oil
Vitamin E Oil

HOW TO:
Pour butter in a bowl and whip using a hand mixer or whisk.
Add oils and continue whipping, whip till its soft and fluffy.
Pour in a air tight jar and use.

OR

Pour butter in a bowl and insert bowl in hot water till it melts.
Add oil to the melted butter and leave to cool
Add Essential oils and whisk.

She Was Blessed.

We covered her in a garb of honor,
but honor ‘failed’ her.
So she picked the adornment of shame,
and dwell in the garden of ‘fame’.
What pleasure she found in the rain,
dwindled when the drought came.

We elevated her to a high place,
above the earth and humanly gaze,
but she said upon grass she must graze,
and so she fell upon her face.

We served her meal upon a golden tray,
she looked awhile with nothing to say.
No words, no thanks!
The grace was taken away.

I pray that you may,
live beyond the standard that you came,
rise above the earth,
before you breathe your last.

Slitz…

Don’t Judge Me!!!!!

 

I don’t care what you say about me! You are judgemental! Holier than thou! This statements are some of the things we all say, when we feel judged

Never let others’ judgment of you discourage you. Ignore what the people say about you, and keep doing what you believe in.” we sometimes hear.

When does caring what other people think about us becomes important, and unimportant? When should we listen to other people’s judgement of us?

How do we strike a balance?

We strike a balance by knowing that while we can’t listen and care about everyone’s opinion about us, we however have to listen when a specific opinion is held by many and that of a believer.

The famous hadith of the Prophet, sallallaahu’alayhi wa sallam, in which he taught that the believer is the mirror of the believer. If we can accept our reflections in the mirror as true, we also should accept and listen to the believers. This helps us learn and grow to become better Muslims.

Sometimes when going through social media, I see Muslims going hard on someone who left a comment advising the person who posted on their social media page and it just makes me cringe, and I think to myself the adviser was probably sincere in giving a heartfelt naseeha (advice). Sometimes we feel guilty because we know we are wrong and try to justify our actions by telling the adviser to not judge us, it’s part of a defence mechanism to make ourselves feel better, but at what point do we tell ourselves the truth and see the corrections for what it really is, except the person correcting us is doing so in a totally wrong manner and the advice is lost because it was relayed wrongly that is different. It’s important we do not always have our guards up and lose out on much beneficial advice from people who love us or total strangers who are believers and owe us sincere naseeha.

The Prophet (SAW) said, (three times), “The Religion is naseeha (sincerity and sincere advice).” We said, “To whom?” He said, “To Allaah, His Book, His Messenger, and to the leaders of the Muslims and the general people.”  [Saheeh Muslim No.55] This hadith tells us to give good admonition, not act deceitfully, to hide faults, order people to good and forbid from evil with gentleness, sincerity and compassion, to encourage people to take on good character. The Muslim who is correcting us, owe it to us.

 

Jazakallahu Khayran for reading, kindly like, and follow us.

Long time!!!

Salam Alaikum
Aww I have totally abandoned blogging!!!! When life takes over.
Sorry sisters for not updating the blog, I have been totally busy. busy with work and planning a wedding and getting married, yay!!! congratulations to me.

I have waited for this day for so long, like many girls have and it has finally happened, Alhamdulillah. I feel like a blessed girl, even though the wedding preparation came with lots of headache and quarreling, whew!!! And the wedding wasn’t completely all I wanted but then again how many of us get our dream wedding? The good thing is I got married to my soulmate and at the end of it all that is what matters, the man and the marriage not the wedding itself.
I will try to make out time to update the blog more often.

Jazakallahu khayran

Self-Love and the Muslimah Part 2

Few years back, I read a tweet about how it takes real confidence to go anywhere without makeup, I totally believe I am a very confident lady, but I would hardly go out without makeup. So I decided to challenge myself to 3 months of no makeup, not even powder. Is my level of self-esteem all up in my head if I hardly go out without make-up, I began to wonder?
This might seem easy right? But I absolutely loved make-up (I wore makeup all the time. Light or medium makeup, I would hardly go out without having makeup on), I still love makeup, but I have come to learn it should be worn within the confines of the house after reading an article on the Islamic perspective of makeup Alhamdullilah .
As at that time when people ask if I was making up to look more attractive to men, I would reply saying absolutely not! I makeup because I like it and love how I could give myself different looks. This might seem really simple but our level of self-esteem, self-love, and confidence shows from how we dress, interact with people, see others, view ourselves etc.
At first it wasn’t easy, I had no problem going without makeup to work, market etc. but it was difficult attending social gatherings (the horror of attending a wedding with your friends all made up and you looking like a plain Jane) that was my thought process then, I was wrong, that’s not how a Muslimah should think, however that was part of my struggles. At the end of the third month, my confidence grew, I was literally over makeup, it was like purging it out of my system and I learnt to accept myself natural and all.
Level of self-love also manifest itself in how much we need other people’s validation. I.e. My friends will laugh at me, or call me a very serious person, if I start to use the hijab. What will people say! Some think it’s ugly etc. If you love yourself, you wouldn’t bother so much about getting other peoples validation, giving into peer pressure, committing sins just to feel accepted and loved, feeling intimidated, worthless, ugly, because you know it doesn’t matter, and would learn to stay off knowing fully well what matters the most is pleasing Allah (SWT).
Having confidence to say no and enough when being abused or bullied.
Lack of self-love could lead to low self-esteem and totally drive the Muslim over the edge and into the fire of hell.

Self-love is different from narcissism
Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one’s own attributes.
Narcissistic individuals generally believe that the world revolves around them. This condition is characterized by a lack of ability to empathize with others and a desire to keep the focus on themselves at all times. Involves arrogant behavior, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration-all of which must be consistently evident at work and in relationships. People who are narcissistic are frequently described as cocky, self-centered, manipulative, demanding, and may be convinced that they deserve special treatment. Narcissism involves cockiness, manipulativeness, selfishness, power motives, and vanity.
Narcissists tend to have high self-esteem. However, narcissism is not the same thing as self-esteem; people who have high self-esteem are often humble, whereas narcissists rarely are. It was once thought that narcissists have high self-esteem on the surface, but deep down they are insecure. However, the latest evidence indicates that narcissists are actually secure or grandiose at both levels. Onlookers may infer that insecurity is there because narcissists tend to be defensive when their self-esteem is threatened (e.g., being ridiculed); narcissists can be aggressive.
Love yourself but be conscious of being a narcissist, remember virtue is selfless.
Have confidence but be weary of arrogance