Tag Archives: muslim

The Secret Ingredients To Being a Successful Muslimah

Success is something I have been thinking about a great deal lately. One of the first questions that come to mind is how we define success? One of the inner-most desires we can have as human beings is to be successful at something. Whether it’s our role as a student or in our profession or even as a mother.
As Muslims, we can all too often get dragged into this type of worldly measure of success which measures you by material achievements- but in all honesty, how many of those people chasing after solely worldly goods are truly happy? I’m not suggesting we shouldn’t have all the above as Muslims. Indeed we should, but our measure of success should be linked to something lasting, more rewarding, more satisfying than reaching the status quo.
Successful indeed are the believers (Surah Al-Muminun)
1. Have sincere intentions:
Success begins on the sincerity of our intentions. We should seek to have a lasting benefit from whatever we have set our minds to achieve, whether it is studying at university, getting a career or starting a family. Our success in what we intend to do will depend on how sincere we are in our efforts to please Allah.
2. Invest time wisely:
One of the top traits of successful leaders as research as shown is that they manage their time effectively. Quit wasting time on things that do not bring you benefit and watch your life become full of blessings.
3 Develop yourself:
We have access to knowledge, courses, books and so much more, so anyone can develop their knowledge and grow in an area of interest. As Muslims, it is essential we improve our knowledge of the religion and excel at what we do so that we can be an example and role model.
4. Keep learning:
One of the striking features I have found in successful people is their humility and their continued pursuit of learning, not only in the field they are currently in but also in general.
5. Make du’a:
The final but one of the most powerful ingredients to success is to make dua and lots of it. Indeed my success only comes from Allah is a beautiful dua to ponder over often as it reminds me that we can never become too arrogant in life about our achievements. If it wasn’t for our creator, we would not be able to exist in the first place let alone succeed at what we set out to do.
Remember to always remain humble in your achievements and constantly thank Allah for helping you.
After all, we won’t know if we’ve really succeeded until we reach the gates of Jannah. May Allah (SWT) make us amongst those who are the successful in this life and the hereafter.

Culled from Sisters Magazine issue 53.

Don’t Judge Me!!!!!

 

I don’t care what you say about me! You are judgemental! Holier than thou! This statements are some of the things we all say, when we feel judged

Never let others’ judgment of you discourage you. Ignore what the people say about you, and keep doing what you believe in.” we sometimes hear.

When does caring what other people think about us becomes important, and unimportant? When should we listen to other people’s judgement of us?

How do we strike a balance?

We strike a balance by knowing that while we can’t listen and care about everyone’s opinion about us, we however have to listen when a specific opinion is held by many and that of a believer.

The famous hadith of the Prophet, sallallaahu’alayhi wa sallam, in which he taught that the believer is the mirror of the believer. If we can accept our reflections in the mirror as true, we also should accept and listen to the believers. This helps us learn and grow to become better Muslims.

Sometimes when going through social media, I see Muslims going hard on someone who left a comment advising the person who posted on their social media page and it just makes me cringe, and I think to myself the adviser was probably sincere in giving a heartfelt naseeha (advice). Sometimes we feel guilty because we know we are wrong and try to justify our actions by telling the adviser to not judge us, it’s part of a defence mechanism to make ourselves feel better, but at what point do we tell ourselves the truth and see the corrections for what it really is, except the person correcting us is doing so in a totally wrong manner and the advice is lost because it was relayed wrongly that is different. It’s important we do not always have our guards up and lose out on much beneficial advice from people who love us or total strangers who are believers and owe us sincere naseeha.

The Prophet (SAW) said, (three times), “The Religion is naseeha (sincerity and sincere advice).” We said, “To whom?” He said, “To Allaah, His Book, His Messenger, and to the leaders of the Muslims and the general people.”  [Saheeh Muslim No.55] This hadith tells us to give good admonition, not act deceitfully, to hide faults, order people to good and forbid from evil with gentleness, sincerity and compassion, to encourage people to take on good character. The Muslim who is correcting us, owe it to us.

 

Jazakallahu Khayran for reading, kindly like, and follow us.

Long time!!!

Salam Alaikum
Aww I have totally abandoned blogging!!!! When life takes over.
Sorry sisters for not updating the blog, I have been totally busy. busy with work and planning a wedding and getting married, yay!!! congratulations to me.

I have waited for this day for so long, like many girls have and it has finally happened, Alhamdulillah. I feel like a blessed girl, even though the wedding preparation came with lots of headache and quarreling, whew!!! And the wedding wasn’t completely all I wanted but then again how many of us get our dream wedding? The good thing is I got married to my soulmate and at the end of it all that is what matters, the man and the marriage not the wedding itself.
I will try to make out time to update the blog more often.

Jazakallahu khayran

Self-Love and the Muslimah Part 2

Few years back, I read a tweet about how it takes real confidence to go anywhere without makeup, I totally believe I am a very confident lady, but I would hardly go out without makeup. So I decided to challenge myself to 3 months of no makeup, not even powder. Is my level of self-esteem all up in my head if I hardly go out without make-up, I began to wonder?
This might seem easy right? But I absolutely loved make-up (I wore makeup all the time. Light or medium makeup, I would hardly go out without having makeup on), I still love makeup, but I have come to learn it should be worn within the confines of the house after reading an article on the Islamic perspective of makeup Alhamdullilah .
As at that time when people ask if I was making up to look more attractive to men, I would reply saying absolutely not! I makeup because I like it and love how I could give myself different looks. This might seem really simple but our level of self-esteem, self-love, and confidence shows from how we dress, interact with people, see others, view ourselves etc.
At first it wasn’t easy, I had no problem going without makeup to work, market etc. but it was difficult attending social gatherings (the horror of attending a wedding with your friends all made up and you looking like a plain Jane) that was my thought process then, I was wrong, that’s not how a Muslimah should think, however that was part of my struggles. At the end of the third month, my confidence grew, I was literally over makeup, it was like purging it out of my system and I learnt to accept myself natural and all.
Level of self-love also manifest itself in how much we need other people’s validation. I.e. My friends will laugh at me, or call me a very serious person, if I start to use the hijab. What will people say! Some think it’s ugly etc. If you love yourself, you wouldn’t bother so much about getting other peoples validation, giving into peer pressure, committing sins just to feel accepted and loved, feeling intimidated, worthless, ugly, because you know it doesn’t matter, and would learn to stay off knowing fully well what matters the most is pleasing Allah (SWT).
Having confidence to say no and enough when being abused or bullied.
Lack of self-love could lead to low self-esteem and totally drive the Muslim over the edge and into the fire of hell.

Self-love is different from narcissism
Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one’s own attributes.
Narcissistic individuals generally believe that the world revolves around them. This condition is characterized by a lack of ability to empathize with others and a desire to keep the focus on themselves at all times. Involves arrogant behavior, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration-all of which must be consistently evident at work and in relationships. People who are narcissistic are frequently described as cocky, self-centered, manipulative, demanding, and may be convinced that they deserve special treatment. Narcissism involves cockiness, manipulativeness, selfishness, power motives, and vanity.
Narcissists tend to have high self-esteem. However, narcissism is not the same thing as self-esteem; people who have high self-esteem are often humble, whereas narcissists rarely are. It was once thought that narcissists have high self-esteem on the surface, but deep down they are insecure. However, the latest evidence indicates that narcissists are actually secure or grandiose at both levels. Onlookers may infer that insecurity is there because narcissists tend to be defensive when their self-esteem is threatened (e.g., being ridiculed); narcissists can be aggressive.
Love yourself but be conscious of being a narcissist, remember virtue is selfless.
Have confidence but be weary of arrogance

Productive Apps -Apps That Keep Me Going!

I am not a typical phone application (App) crazy person, but I’ve come to love some of them that keep my life simple and productive. I always look out for ways to ease everyday stress and be more productive with my time.
Following a hadith which says: “Not a single dawn breaks out without two (2) angels calling out. “O! Son of Adam, I am a new day and witness your actions, so make the best out of me because I will never come back till the day of judgement”.
Each and every one of us needs to guard our time jealously to attain success.
Here are some of the Apps I use daily on my mobile phone and hope you find them useful.
• Pocket
This app allows you to save pictures, articles, videos and much more. See what you like, just click to save and view later, it’s as simple as that! It also has recommendation section based on your selection of topics most pleasing to you. I am using mine on an android phone and equally have it on my laptop which syncs to harmonise all content. You can download free from Play Store.

• Amazon Audible
The app is one of my favourites! Since I’m a bookworm, I love to get through a lot of reading within a short time. But where’s the time to read all paperback? Hence, the reason I decided to subscribe for Audible so that I could get to listen to my books on the go. Brilliant, isn’t it? You need to subscribe for a monthly fee whereby one is given one credit to get any book from the Audible store after the end of each month. Do give it a try. There is a 30-day free trial- what more could you want?

• Andro Money
Andro Money is one of the best personal finance management and expense tracker on android. There’s a free one on play store, but I’m using the Pro one. It’s been just incredible. Just give it a go and I’m sure you’ll not regret it.

• 24Me
How do I stress the awesomeness of this app? I love it. It’s a personal assistant in your phone tracking all your to-do that could be tagged under personal, household, work and many more additions to suit your need. You can also track your events. A complete P.A. at your beck and call! It can be downloaded free from play store on an Android phone.

That’s it for now. I’m planning to do a second part soonest, in sha Allah. Do have a lovely day.

Author- Raheemah Odusote
http://www.indulgencereading.com

Dropping Your Bad Baggage

Salam Alaykum Wa Rahmatullah wa barakatuhu
For some time I could feel my iman was quite low. like most Muslims, sometimes my iman is high Masha Allah, other times its low and I struggle to raise it up Astagfirullah.
Today I got a good dose of iman booster Alhamdulillah after attending the peace and unity convention.

A statement one of the scholars made reminded me about how I needed to drop some bad baggage weighing me down, in order to raise my iman back up. Our sins are like bad unwanted baggage weighing us down, diminishing our iman and threatening the hereafter.

I thought to myself how will you drop this specific baggage and I remembered few years ago during Ramadan, I made a list of what my biggest sins to me were, the ones I was conscious of and struggled with. And I told myself Insha Allah I am determined to stop doing so and so and do so and so instead, seeking Allah’s help. Alhamdulillah Ramadan is usually a time many of us experience high iman and a good time to start some good deeds and stop some bad deeds.

Looking back I must say Alhamdulillah, sometimes we think leaving it is so hard or our family and friends will protest or everyone does it, thinking about other reasons and telling ourselves nonsense, justifying it, and continue. Sometimes I tell myself, well am going to start doing so and so when I get married, but sincerely this is us following our nafs.

Allah SWT does not change the condition of a people until they change it themselves.

And I thought to myself it’s time to drop another baggage. We are constantly picking and dropping baggage, what we pick and drop is really important and we have to be watchful of it.

So if you are like me striving and struggling to get better, below is a few tips to help:
• Make a list
• Repent and seek the forgiveness of Allah
• Be determined never to go back to it
• Have faith that Allah SWT will make it easy for you
• Read the Quran, hadith, beneficial books, magazines etc
• Chose good company: It is better to be alone, than be in the company of bad people, and it is better to be in the company of good people than to be alone.

Ma salam

Outspoken: The Power of a Woman’s Voice

Muslim women should be seen, not heard” is a belief that – if not spoken outright – is implicitly understood and reinforced constantly. “A woman’s voice is ‘awrah” is another catchphrase that is floated around commonly and used to shame Muslim women who stand up for themselves in any way. “Women who speak are fitnah!”
If anything, one common trait amongst all the wives of RasulAllah (SAW) – besides being of those who were guaranteed Jannah – was that, in their own way, they were incredibly strong women who were never afraid to stand up for themselves or to speak out. Juwayriyyah bint al-Haarith (RA) was the daughter of an Arab chieftain – making her, in essence, a princess of sorts. When her father’s tribe waged war against the Muslims and were defeated, they captured prisoners and spoils of war as was customary at the time. Amongst the prisoners was Juwayriyyah (RA), who was the prisoner of Thaabit ibn Qays. Despite the fact that Juwayriyyah’s husband had just been killed in battle, rendering her a widow and captive, she was nonetheless both courageous and intelligent. She immediately began to arrange her own ransom, reaching an agreement with Thaabit that she would ransom herself for nine measures of silver.
She also arranged it so that she was given a meeting with Rasool Allah (SAW). With her head held high and her dignity undiminished by her circumstances, she addressed him with an eloquent and powerful speech:
“O Messenger of Allah! I am Juwayriyyah, the daughter of al-Haarith, the leader of his people. You are not unaware of what has befallen me. I am a captive of Thaabit ibn Qays, and I have bargained with him to ransom myself for nine measures of silver – so help me to free myself!”
In these brief words, Juwayriyyah (RA) established herself as a woman of intelligence, dignity and of faith. Her very first words made it clear that she had accepted Islam – why else would she refer to him as the Messenger of Allah? – and called attention to her situation by emphasising her former position as the daughter of a leader, and her current position as a prisoner. She made it known that she was not helpless and idle and would not allow herself to remain a prisoner. This not only ensured that everyone present was aware of the fact that she had taken pro-active measures, but also called upon Rasool Allah’s sense of honour, compassion and generosity to assist her.
Indeed, this small speech was all it took to guarantee freedom not only for herself, but also for her entire tribe. Rasool Allah (SAW) was so impressed by her that he immediately told her, “Would you like something better than that?”
Quick-witted as ever, Juwayriyyah (RA) didn’t simply accept, but rather asked, “What is it?”
Rasool Allah (SAW) said, “I will pay your ransom and marry you as well.”
Her answer was swift. “Yes, O Messenger of Allah!”
And with that, she was included amongst the ranks of the Mothers of the Believers. Not only that, but due to her acceptance of Islam and her position as the wife of Rasool Allah (SAW), she also secured the freedom of her entire tribe, as well as bringing them closer to Islam. The power of her words – of her voice – was clear.
Unfortunately, it’s common today in many Muslim cultures and communities to find that women who speak up, whether in defence of themselves or for a specific cause, are penalised for voicing themselves. Their modesty, their piety and even their personal lives are often targeted, sometimes with crude insinuations made. It is appalling that these accusations are thrown around at women who are doing little more than following in the footsteps of the heroines of Islam – the wives and daughters of Rasool Allah (RA), his female Companions and the great female scholars of the Tabi’een.
In a time when the Muslim Ummah is besieged on numerous fronts – militarily, economically and socially – the example of Juwayriyyah (RA) is one to be told to every Muslim man and woman, reminding us that no matter what situations we find ourselves in, Allah I helps those who help themselves. In Juwayriyyah’s case, it was her pro-activeness, her quick mind and her courage that changed her from not only prisoner to princess, but also into a woman of Jannah. By modelling ourselves on Juwayriyyah (RA), we will discover that one of the greatest tools for changing our less-than-ideal circumstances is complete trust in Allah I while never backing down from the numerous obstacles that will inevitably be in our paths.
Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves. (Ar-Ra’d:11)

Zainab bint Younus (AnonyMouse) is a young woman who finds constant inspiration in the lives of the Sahabiyaat and other great women in Islamic history. She hopes that every Muslimah is able to identify with the struggles of these inspirational women and follow in their footsteps to become a part of a new generation of powerful Muslim women.

http://www.sisters-magazine.com/2015/11/05/outspoken-the-power-of-a-womans-voice/

How Did They Do It?

Were they ever tempted?
Did they ever fall short?
Did they ever wonder and doubt?
Why is my faith so weak?

Did their women all wear Niqab?
Did they all achieve their goals?
Was the world any better?
Or were they just simply better?

Were they ever frightened by the might of the enemy?
Or were they ever scared of speaking the truth?
Were they this victimized?
Were they superhuman?

Were they very much and felt outnumbered?
Did they dispute amongst themselves often as we do?
Were they united?
Did they all have a common goal?

What did they do for leisure?
Was it sports, music, poetry or folklore?
Did they have more than a day and night?
How come they did achieve so much?
How come 24hrs seems so short?

I’m going crazy here,
How did the Sahabas do it?
Where did we go wrong?
Questions begging for sincere answers

Do you know the answers?

Note:
Niqab: Veil
Sahabas: Companions of the Prophet (SAW)

Author: Sino

Adopting A Healthy Eating Lifestyle.

Living a healthy lifestyle comprises of a whole lot this includes diet, exercise, self-medication etc. I will be focusing on just the eating aspect of it. HEALTH (a complete state of physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity, according to the WHO).
Health is one of the greatest favour Allah has bestowed on us. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) mounted the pulpit, then wept and said, “Ask Allah (swt) for forgiveness and health, for after being granted certainty, one is given nothing better than health.” Related in Tirmidhi
My health consciousness started while I was in the university, at first my friends didn’t understand why I decided to stop taking carbonated drinks except for malt drinks as part of reducing my sugar intake, they just assumed I had started my iye yi (over sabi sabi) again.
I remember when my mum always complained about Fanta/Coke been too sugary and insisted on diluting it with water, I always told her it wasn’t too sugary, she was probably just getting old and doesn’t like sweet things. Fast forward to some months later after staying off, I was very thirsty and had to take a cold bottle of Fanta, it was too sugary I had to ask why Fanta had increased its sugar content, of course Fanta didn’t increase its sugar content my taste buds adjusted.
Having a healthy eating lifestyle is more important than “dieting”, sometimes when people diet they find it hard to stick to it, but having a healthy eating lifestyle means you are changing your eating habit completely.

Healthy Eating Tips:
 Swap the unhealthy food with healthy food: swap sugar with honey or date (honey should be taken in moderation, although honey is better, it still contains calories), Coke with freshly squeezed fruit juice or zobo etc.
 Reduce oil intake: Fry with little oil, reduce fried food intake. Boil, steam and grill.
 Eat right, moderately, and in the right proportion: “A man does not fill any vessel worse than his stomach. It is sufficient for the son of Adam to eat enough to keep him alive. But if he must do that, then one-third for his food, one-third for his drink and one-third for his air.”. Related in Tirmidhi
 Reduce your salt and sugar intake: you don’t need that soft drink. The Coke, Fanta, Pepsi etc. are of no healthy use whatsoever, except you’re hypoglycaemic (low blood sugar) and in an urgent need of glucose (sugar). A nice bottle of delicious water, or green tea or zobo drink will do, and the body appreciates it more.
 Don’t turn your stomach into a dustbin, by just dumping all sort of stuffs in it, really don’t!
 Eat of the good things which We have provided for you.” (Quran 2:172) “Eat of what is lawful and wholesome on the earth.” (Quran 2:168)
 You don’t have to eat only cooked food, you can add some salad to that mountain of rice, for some added benefits.
And it is He Who produces gardens trellised and untrellised, and date palms, and crops of different shape and taste (its fruits and its seeds) and olives, and pomegranates, similar (in kind) and different (in taste). Eat of their fruit when they ripen…” (Quran 6:141)

I know it’s not easy, but your body will thank you for it, it’s easier to fast and perform tahajud when healthy. May Allah make it easy for us all, Amin.

Basic Natural Hair Care Regimen

Finally, you’ve decided to turn natural, Congratulations!!! Now what??? When you are new or transitioning into natural, you might not be sure what regimen to follow or just might be overwhelmed with too much information.

I have learnt to take care of my hair overtime, tailoring my hair care regimen to suit my busy life and hair goals.

My hair care regimen

Daily:

 Moisturize and seal (I spray my hair with a mixture of water, aloe vera and oils)

 Eat healthy

 Massage scalp

 Sleep on a satin pillowcase, or use a satin bonnet

Weekly:

 Co-wash

Bi-weekly:

 Pre-poo before conditioning

 Shampoo with a sulphate free shampoo

 Deep condition after shampooing

Monthly:

 Protein treatment

 Hot oil treatment

 Clarify

 Rinse i.e ACV rinse, tea rinse, hibiscus (Zobo) rinse

Every 2 months:

 Henna treatment

 Clay treatment

Alternate the monthly and every 2 month treatment for a start until you are able to try 2 or more of the treatments and don’t forget to wear protective hair styles.