Tag Archives: muslimah

Don’t Judge Me!!!!!

 

I don’t care what you say about me! You are judgemental! Holier than thou! This statements are some of the things we all say, when we feel judged

Never let others’ judgment of you discourage you. Ignore what the people say about you, and keep doing what you believe in.” we sometimes hear.

When does caring what other people think about us becomes important, and unimportant? When should we listen to other people’s judgement of us?

How do we strike a balance?

We strike a balance by knowing that while we can’t listen and care about everyone’s opinion about us, we however have to listen when a specific opinion is held by many and that of a believer.

The famous hadith of the Prophet, sallallaahu’alayhi wa sallam, in which he taught that the believer is the mirror of the believer. If we can accept our reflections in the mirror as true, we also should accept and listen to the believers. This helps us learn and grow to become better Muslims.

Sometimes when going through social media, I see Muslims going hard on someone who left a comment advising the person who posted on their social media page and it just makes me cringe, and I think to myself the adviser was probably sincere in giving a heartfelt naseeha (advice). Sometimes we feel guilty because we know we are wrong and try to justify our actions by telling the adviser to not judge us, it’s part of a defence mechanism to make ourselves feel better, but at what point do we tell ourselves the truth and see the corrections for what it really is, except the person correcting us is doing so in a totally wrong manner and the advice is lost because it was relayed wrongly that is different. It’s important we do not always have our guards up and lose out on much beneficial advice from people who love us or total strangers who are believers and owe us sincere naseeha.

The Prophet (SAW) said, (three times), “The Religion is naseeha (sincerity and sincere advice).” We said, “To whom?” He said, “To Allaah, His Book, His Messenger, and to the leaders of the Muslims and the general people.”  [Saheeh Muslim No.55] This hadith tells us to give good admonition, not act deceitfully, to hide faults, order people to good and forbid from evil with gentleness, sincerity and compassion, to encourage people to take on good character. The Muslim who is correcting us, owe it to us.

 

Jazakallahu Khayran for reading, kindly like, and follow us.

Long time!!!

Salam Alaikum
Aww I have totally abandoned blogging!!!! When life takes over.
Sorry sisters for not updating the blog, I have been totally busy. busy with work and planning a wedding and getting married, yay!!! congratulations to me.

I have waited for this day for so long, like many girls have and it has finally happened, Alhamdulillah. I feel like a blessed girl, even though the wedding preparation came with lots of headache and quarreling, whew!!! And the wedding wasn’t completely all I wanted but then again how many of us get our dream wedding? The good thing is I got married to my soulmate and at the end of it all that is what matters, the man and the marriage not the wedding itself.
I will try to make out time to update the blog more often.

Jazakallahu khayran

Self-Love and the Muslimah Part 2

Few years back, I read a tweet about how it takes real confidence to go anywhere without makeup, I totally believe I am a very confident lady, but I would hardly go out without makeup. So I decided to challenge myself to 3 months of no makeup, not even powder. Is my level of self-esteem all up in my head if I hardly go out without make-up, I began to wonder?
This might seem easy right? But I absolutely loved make-up (I wore makeup all the time. Light or medium makeup, I would hardly go out without having makeup on), I still love makeup, but I have come to learn it should be worn within the confines of the house after reading an article on the Islamic perspective of makeup Alhamdullilah .
As at that time when people ask if I was making up to look more attractive to men, I would reply saying absolutely not! I makeup because I like it and love how I could give myself different looks. This might seem really simple but our level of self-esteem, self-love, and confidence shows from how we dress, interact with people, see others, view ourselves etc.
At first it wasn’t easy, I had no problem going without makeup to work, market etc. but it was difficult attending social gatherings (the horror of attending a wedding with your friends all made up and you looking like a plain Jane) that was my thought process then, I was wrong, that’s not how a Muslimah should think, however that was part of my struggles. At the end of the third month, my confidence grew, I was literally over makeup, it was like purging it out of my system and I learnt to accept myself natural and all.
Level of self-love also manifest itself in how much we need other people’s validation. I.e. My friends will laugh at me, or call me a very serious person, if I start to use the hijab. What will people say! Some think it’s ugly etc. If you love yourself, you wouldn’t bother so much about getting other peoples validation, giving into peer pressure, committing sins just to feel accepted and loved, feeling intimidated, worthless, ugly, because you know it doesn’t matter, and would learn to stay off knowing fully well what matters the most is pleasing Allah (SWT).
Having confidence to say no and enough when being abused or bullied.
Lack of self-love could lead to low self-esteem and totally drive the Muslim over the edge and into the fire of hell.

Self-love is different from narcissism
Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one’s own attributes.
Narcissistic individuals generally believe that the world revolves around them. This condition is characterized by a lack of ability to empathize with others and a desire to keep the focus on themselves at all times. Involves arrogant behavior, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration-all of which must be consistently evident at work and in relationships. People who are narcissistic are frequently described as cocky, self-centered, manipulative, demanding, and may be convinced that they deserve special treatment. Narcissism involves cockiness, manipulativeness, selfishness, power motives, and vanity.
Narcissists tend to have high self-esteem. However, narcissism is not the same thing as self-esteem; people who have high self-esteem are often humble, whereas narcissists rarely are. It was once thought that narcissists have high self-esteem on the surface, but deep down they are insecure. However, the latest evidence indicates that narcissists are actually secure or grandiose at both levels. Onlookers may infer that insecurity is there because narcissists tend to be defensive when their self-esteem is threatened (e.g., being ridiculed); narcissists can be aggressive.
Love yourself but be conscious of being a narcissist, remember virtue is selfless.
Have confidence but be weary of arrogance

Dropping Your Bad Baggage

Salam Alaykum Wa Rahmatullah wa barakatuhu
For some time I could feel my iman was quite low. like most Muslims, sometimes my iman is high Masha Allah, other times its low and I struggle to raise it up Astagfirullah.
Today I got a good dose of iman booster Alhamdulillah after attending the peace and unity convention.

A statement one of the scholars made reminded me about how I needed to drop some bad baggage weighing me down, in order to raise my iman back up. Our sins are like bad unwanted baggage weighing us down, diminishing our iman and threatening the hereafter.

I thought to myself how will you drop this specific baggage and I remembered few years ago during Ramadan, I made a list of what my biggest sins to me were, the ones I was conscious of and struggled with. And I told myself Insha Allah I am determined to stop doing so and so and do so and so instead, seeking Allah’s help. Alhamdulillah Ramadan is usually a time many of us experience high iman and a good time to start some good deeds and stop some bad deeds.

Looking back I must say Alhamdulillah, sometimes we think leaving it is so hard or our family and friends will protest or everyone does it, thinking about other reasons and telling ourselves nonsense, justifying it, and continue. Sometimes I tell myself, well am going to start doing so and so when I get married, but sincerely this is us following our nafs.

Allah SWT does not change the condition of a people until they change it themselves.

And I thought to myself it’s time to drop another baggage. We are constantly picking and dropping baggage, what we pick and drop is really important and we have to be watchful of it.

So if you are like me striving and struggling to get better, below is a few tips to help:
• Make a list
• Repent and seek the forgiveness of Allah
• Be determined never to go back to it
• Have faith that Allah SWT will make it easy for you
• Read the Quran, hadith, beneficial books, magazines etc
• Chose good company: It is better to be alone, than be in the company of bad people, and it is better to be in the company of good people than to be alone.

Ma salam

Outspoken: The Power of a Woman’s Voice

Muslim women should be seen, not heard” is a belief that – if not spoken outright – is implicitly understood and reinforced constantly. “A woman’s voice is ‘awrah” is another catchphrase that is floated around commonly and used to shame Muslim women who stand up for themselves in any way. “Women who speak are fitnah!”
If anything, one common trait amongst all the wives of RasulAllah (SAW) – besides being of those who were guaranteed Jannah – was that, in their own way, they were incredibly strong women who were never afraid to stand up for themselves or to speak out. Juwayriyyah bint al-Haarith (RA) was the daughter of an Arab chieftain – making her, in essence, a princess of sorts. When her father’s tribe waged war against the Muslims and were defeated, they captured prisoners and spoils of war as was customary at the time. Amongst the prisoners was Juwayriyyah (RA), who was the prisoner of Thaabit ibn Qays. Despite the fact that Juwayriyyah’s husband had just been killed in battle, rendering her a widow and captive, she was nonetheless both courageous and intelligent. She immediately began to arrange her own ransom, reaching an agreement with Thaabit that she would ransom herself for nine measures of silver.
She also arranged it so that she was given a meeting with Rasool Allah (SAW). With her head held high and her dignity undiminished by her circumstances, she addressed him with an eloquent and powerful speech:
“O Messenger of Allah! I am Juwayriyyah, the daughter of al-Haarith, the leader of his people. You are not unaware of what has befallen me. I am a captive of Thaabit ibn Qays, and I have bargained with him to ransom myself for nine measures of silver – so help me to free myself!”
In these brief words, Juwayriyyah (RA) established herself as a woman of intelligence, dignity and of faith. Her very first words made it clear that she had accepted Islam – why else would she refer to him as the Messenger of Allah? – and called attention to her situation by emphasising her former position as the daughter of a leader, and her current position as a prisoner. She made it known that she was not helpless and idle and would not allow herself to remain a prisoner. This not only ensured that everyone present was aware of the fact that she had taken pro-active measures, but also called upon Rasool Allah’s sense of honour, compassion and generosity to assist her.
Indeed, this small speech was all it took to guarantee freedom not only for herself, but also for her entire tribe. Rasool Allah (SAW) was so impressed by her that he immediately told her, “Would you like something better than that?”
Quick-witted as ever, Juwayriyyah (RA) didn’t simply accept, but rather asked, “What is it?”
Rasool Allah (SAW) said, “I will pay your ransom and marry you as well.”
Her answer was swift. “Yes, O Messenger of Allah!”
And with that, she was included amongst the ranks of the Mothers of the Believers. Not only that, but due to her acceptance of Islam and her position as the wife of Rasool Allah (SAW), she also secured the freedom of her entire tribe, as well as bringing them closer to Islam. The power of her words – of her voice – was clear.
Unfortunately, it’s common today in many Muslim cultures and communities to find that women who speak up, whether in defence of themselves or for a specific cause, are penalised for voicing themselves. Their modesty, their piety and even their personal lives are often targeted, sometimes with crude insinuations made. It is appalling that these accusations are thrown around at women who are doing little more than following in the footsteps of the heroines of Islam – the wives and daughters of Rasool Allah (RA), his female Companions and the great female scholars of the Tabi’een.
In a time when the Muslim Ummah is besieged on numerous fronts – militarily, economically and socially – the example of Juwayriyyah (RA) is one to be told to every Muslim man and woman, reminding us that no matter what situations we find ourselves in, Allah I helps those who help themselves. In Juwayriyyah’s case, it was her pro-activeness, her quick mind and her courage that changed her from not only prisoner to princess, but also into a woman of Jannah. By modelling ourselves on Juwayriyyah (RA), we will discover that one of the greatest tools for changing our less-than-ideal circumstances is complete trust in Allah I while never backing down from the numerous obstacles that will inevitably be in our paths.
Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves. (Ar-Ra’d:11)

Zainab bint Younus (AnonyMouse) is a young woman who finds constant inspiration in the lives of the Sahabiyaat and other great women in Islamic history. She hopes that every Muslimah is able to identify with the struggles of these inspirational women and follow in their footsteps to become a part of a new generation of powerful Muslim women.

http://www.sisters-magazine.com/2015/11/05/outspoken-the-power-of-a-womans-voice/

How Did They Do It?

Were they ever tempted?
Did they ever fall short?
Did they ever wonder and doubt?
Why is my faith so weak?

Did their women all wear Niqab?
Did they all achieve their goals?
Was the world any better?
Or were they just simply better?

Were they ever frightened by the might of the enemy?
Or were they ever scared of speaking the truth?
Were they this victimized?
Were they superhuman?

Were they very much and felt outnumbered?
Did they dispute amongst themselves often as we do?
Were they united?
Did they all have a common goal?

What did they do for leisure?
Was it sports, music, poetry or folklore?
Did they have more than a day and night?
How come they did achieve so much?
How come 24hrs seems so short?

I’m going crazy here,
How did the Sahabas do it?
Where did we go wrong?
Questions begging for sincere answers

Do you know the answers?

Note:
Niqab: Veil
Sahabas: Companions of the Prophet (SAW)

Author: Sino